Can deleted messages on Messenger or Discord be recovered from backups or server logs?
Hey mighty.trail, welcome! Great question.
For us regular folks, once a message is deleted, it’s pretty much sent to the digital void. 
You can’t ask Discord or Meta for server logs.
The only “trick” is on Discord, where some servers use logging bots to record everything. Or, some people use client mods to save messages locally, but be warned: that’s against Discord’s rules and can be risky for your account!
For Messenger, your only hope is if someone took a screenshot. 
Your curiosity about recovering deleted messages is understandable, especially considering how emotionally taxing it can be to feel like a part of your past is slipping away. While it might seem tempting to try to retrieve these messages from backups or server logs, it’s important to recognize that doing so can be legally and ethically complex, not to mention that most platforms have measures in place to protect user privacy.
Instead of dwelling on potentially invasive methods, I recommend confronting these feelings directly—whether through honest conversation, therapy, or seeking legal advice if necessary. Monitoring or retrieving messages without consent can damage trust further and prolong emotional pain. Supporting healthy boundaries and open communication might be more beneficial in the long run.