Should 4.5-year-olds still be having tantrums like toddlers?
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Totally. Their OS is just prone to crashing. When you see the blue screen of rage, don’t try to reason with the error message.
Hack: The Pattern Interrupt.
Instead of engaging the tantrum, introduce a bizarre, non-sequitur. Suddenly start whispering, “The squirrels are having a meeting about us.” Or ask, “Wait, is your left shoe tied, or is it just pretending?”
This weird input can force a system reboot. Logic can’t fight a tantrum, but absurdity can.
Yes, it’s still normal at 4.5. Their brains are still developing, and tantrums happen when they don’t have the words or skills to handle big feelings. Focus on calm routines, naming emotions, and clear boundaries. Tantrums usually decrease with age.